Choosing a topic for your very first blog is a most daunting task and one I wrestled with for the better half of the afternoon. After some serious soul-searching over a bowl of candy corn, it hit me. If there’s one thing in this world I know, it’s how to be 90’s kid. Although I am regrettably now an adult (or so they tell me,) I continue to confuse people daily with my glitter Bon-Bon nails and compulsive Disney Facebook posts. Who better to guide the lost souls back to elementary bliss?
Now, I know what you’re thinking. What makes you the final authority on childhood? Well, I’m currently sipping Diet Coke out of my Disney World mug, staring down my collection of Princess Belle Pez-heads, and retaping my Britney Spear’s stickers to the wall, all while humming “I Want It That Way”. Great, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business (bonus points if you sang “to defeat the Huns”.) So go ahead and close that textbook, pull up a chair, and check out these five steps to rediscovering your 90’s childhood.
1. Bust out the boom box.
A*Teens anyone? Or how about Avril’s Sk8er Boi? Somewhere buried deep in the recesses of your closet dwell all those CDs you “lost” back in middle school. Don’t kid yourself; you know you’ve been itching to give those CDs a spin in your ultra-cool, portable boom box. Now, should you stumble upon a HitClip, you’ve won. I now dub thee Ultimate 90’s Child 2012.
2. Pop in a VHS.
If you’re as nostalgic as I am (or possibly just lazy) and still have your old VCR, might I suggest grabbing a classic Disney, TMNT, or Power Rangers flick and kicking back with a Capri Sun.
3. Make it a Hasbro night.
If you keep digging in your closet – no, past the CDs – you might just stumble upon a 90’s Hasbro gem. Those Hungry Hungry Hippos are still hungry, and that Pretty Pretty Princess crown still vies to be claimed; so go ahead, grab some friends and Guess Who.
4. Did somebody say McDonalds?
On your way home tonight, treat yourself to some smiles with a McDonald’s Happy Meal. Okay, maybe two or three Happy Meals. Nothing says childhood like those questionable, “chicken” nuggets. Note: It’s okay to have a meltdown if they accidentally give you a boy toy.
5. Get your AR points.
“Man, I wish we still had AR points!” said no one ever. Still, there’s nothing wrong with grabbing a childhood classic (perhaps a little Harry Potter, Goosebumps, or Babysitter’s Club) and taking an adult time out. It’s one more way to put off that paper you’re writing.
So there you have it. Wait, what are you doing still reading? Go! Childhood is calling.
*For best results, use the above five tips simultaneously. Boom box, VHS, and dusty, old board games sold separately.*