What I’ve learned from Disney

disney

As any Disney fanatic or 7-year-old might say, I credit many of the valuable lessons I’ve accumulated to the Disney movie collection. While the exact number of impactful teachings remains truly infinite, there are a few key schoolings that stand out as life-essential. This collection of Disneyisms, the Bear Necessities if you will, should be an integral part of your life too, and so I’ve decided to share with you what I’ve learned from Disney over the past 21 years.

It’s alright if your prince is flawed, as long as there’s a redeeming quality.

Eric: Bad at charades but has castle.
Charming: Forgetful with names but has a castle.
Beast: Terrible temper but has a castle.
Naveen: Shallow and promiscuous but has a castle.
Phillip: Too trusting but has a castle.

***Note: the phrases “redeeming quality” and “has a castle” are equivalent***

You should have a healthy fear of the old, ugly, and obese.

Ursala: Ugly and obese.
Jafar: Old and ugly.
Scar: Old and ugly.
Mr. Waternoose: Old, ugly, and obese.
Hades: Old, ugly, potentially obese depending on the toga.

You receive 1 point for each quality (old, ugly, or obese) for rankings on the villainometer. 1 point is a devilish fiend, 2 points equals a malicious hell raiser, and 3 points signals a black devil from the tenth circle of hell.

Before every happy ending, there is a struggle.

Cinderella: Trouble with the steps.
Aurora: Potentially deadly sleeping curse.
Hercules: Universal takeover by Lord of the Dead.
Ariel: Born with the wrong parts. (Legs, that is)
Simba: Uncle with power issues.

Heroism isn’t free, and every iconic Disney character has had to prove themself, be it to their kingdom, their family, or themselves. The curses of today lead to the happily ever afters of tomorrow.

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