When I log onto Facebook and see a photo captioned “If I can get 1,000,000 likes” my faith in humanity wanes. Then, as I keep scrolling through my news feed, it’s only a matter of time until I stumble upon Instaselfies, foodsies, perfectly “boooorrrreeeed” posts, or some ignorant politcal commentary (on both sides of the party line).
Wouldn’t it be easier if there was a way to filter the scum out of the social media pond? Well, friends, now there is. As a leap in faith in the restoration of meaningful communication, I’ve created a foolproof “Should I Post That?” Test for Facebookers of all ages.
The rules, etiquette, and exceptions quickly became too much for a mere written test, so I created this flowchart. It’s simple. Just start and the top and work your way down the chart. To enlarge, simply click the picture.
You’re probably thinking, “Who are you to judge the posts of other innocent Facebook goers?” Now, let’s climb down from our high horse because we all loathe the idiots of the Facebook village. It’s inevitable. Everyone knows people watching is a fine sport indeed, and Facebook is merely a digital Oklahoma fairgrounds. It’s prime, folks.
Of course, with all tests, there are exceptions to the rules. Foodsies can be appreciated when the food is exotic or homemade or somehow aesthetically pleasing. For special occasions and extraordinary days, selfies can be wonderfully received. Let’s be real, though. For every validated selfie, there are 6 “Laaazzyyyyy day” or “Driving to class!” pics even your mother doesn’t care about.
Lastly, allow me to post a dislcaimer. I am a mortal, an imperfect being. I myself am guilty of multiple crimes outlined above. However, each day is a new beginning, an opportunity to prove to the world that change is possible. No matter how many Facebook assaults you’ve committed in the past, remember: Hakuna Matata. Go; use this test and better mankind in the name of Mark Zuckerberg.
Laura this cracks me up! I love your posts.
Thanks! I’m really glad you do!
I’ll never look at my newsfeed the same way after reading this! Hilarious! 🙂
Thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Thanks! I’m gonna plaster my Wall with pictures of my cats!
Just one thing: “privileges”.
Ha hopefully you have adorabled cats. Nice catch, too! Thanks!
HAHAHAHA this is prime! The setup is great!! I need to ask you how to make pictures look better. Mine look so lame…