S*#! Students Say

Fat Amy

Eavesdropping is easily a writer’s greatest tool, and while walking around campus I find it physically impossible to turn off my ears. Sometimes it’s easy to forget just how ridiculous college kids can be, so as a constant reminder I decided to jot down some of my favorite quotes that I’ve stumbled upon over the year. Today, I’d like to share them with you in As Told by Laura’s newest segment, S*#! Students Say.

Note: no quotes have been fabricated for the benefit of this post.

Enjoy.

****

Guy: “So, are you and Tyler official now?”

Girl: “Oh, definitely. It’s official.”

Guy: “Yay! How did he ask you out?”

Girl: “Well, he held my hand at a movie two weeks ago.”

Guy: “Oh…uh…congrats.”

***

Girl: “So, for my science and technology class, I have to write a report on compact discs. I had to go home and look that up. Do you know they’re just CDs?”

***

Girl #1: “Ugh, I had to go home this weekend to help my sister shop for a wedding dress.”

Girl #2: “I thought you hated your sister? Aren’t you, like, not talking?”

Girl #1: “I do, but it’s okay. She looked fat in her dress.”

***

Guy: “I spent last week volunteering at an elementary school, and I learned something about myself.”

Girl: “Yeah?”

Guy: “I try to love all kids equally, I really do, but it is so hard to love the fat ones.”

***

Guy (to entire bus full of people): “These b*#!&$ be talking like cray back here! Why they gotta’ talk so much?”

Girls on bus proceed to stare angrily.

***

Girl #1: “So, what’s your major again?”

Girl #2: “Oh, I’m double majoring in Biochemistry and English. I know they’re not really related, but I just excel at both.”

Girl #1: “Oh…”

***

Tutor: “So you’ll just want to place the adjective right next to the noun, just like in English.”

Student: “Right.”

Tutor: “So, for this sentence, where would you put the adjective?”

Student: “What’s an adjective again?”

***

So, what’s the best thing you’ve ever heard someone say at school? Drop your best quote in the comments below!

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6 thoughts on “S*#! Students Say

  1. Girl #1: “I didn’t like that movie so much. The abortion scene grossed me out.”
    Girl #2: “Abortion? You mean where she had a C-Section?”
    Girl #1: “Whatever. I mean like what’s the difference?”

  2. Guy: So your an English major. Right?
    Girl: Yea, that’s right.
    Guy: So are you going to be a teacher when your graduate?
    Girl: Oh no, I want to be a neurosurgeon.
    Guy: Wow, that’s really cool. So your taking pre-med stuff in addition to your English major?
    Girl: No.
    Guy: No? How will you become a neurosurgeon?
    Girl: Probably never will, I just like to set my goals really high…..

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