What is it about the rich and famous that draws us to them like a moth to a flame? It’s like we’re genetically wired for celebrity crushes. As any professional stalker can tell you, the objective is to be near the action but not close enough to catch the eye of Sven the beefy, Swiss body guard. The solution: social media.
There are no body guards of social media, which means there’s nothing separating you and your favorite celebrity (except the millions of miles between your cellular device, your provider’s satelitte dish spinning in space, and said celebrity’s cellular device.) Still, you get the point. So how do you do it? How do you get a celebrity to follow you on Twitter?
By following these 10 steps:
1. Follow them. (duh)
2. Tweet them.
3. Tweet them again.
4. Tweet them a third time.
5. Start tweeting them witty puns from their own songs/films.
6. Get your friends to tweet them.
7. Tweet them again.
8. Set up a Hootsuit account so you can schedule tweets while you sleep.
9. Tweet them in the morning.
10. Tweet them until your thumbs bleed, or they follow you.
Disclaimer: Your friends may disown you/unfollow you by the masses. Simply disregard this.
If they haven’t followed you by the end of the process, you may repeat steps 1-1o or find a new celebrity to fawn over. What authority am I, you ask, to preach on such a topic? I, friends, am the proud Twitter-friend of 90’s teen heart-throb Aaron Carter. Highlight of my Twitter career? No doubt. (90s pun intended)
If I can do it, so can you. Now you have the tools to achieve your creepy, celebrity stalker dreams without the Sven-factor. So go, future creepers! Go forth and get those follows!
P.S. I swear I’m not as creepy as I sound. I just really love the 90s and all things boy-band. Especially the Carters.