About Prince Charming…He Isn’t Coming

Over the past 22 years, Disney has managed to infiltrate every aspect of my life – how I decorate my home, shape my pancakes and sometimes even style my hair. But above all, my love for Disney princess films seems to always come knocking in one special place. My love life. Somehow, whenever boy-talk rolls around with the ladies, I get a lot of questions like: Do you have insanely high standards? Are you waiting for Prince Charming? Do you want to be swept off your feet? I kid you not. People have legitimately asked me if I have a case of Prince Charming Syndrome, which I’m pretty sure is made up anyway.

Every time one of these ridiculous questions comes my way, I can’t help but question how well people actually know their Disney films. Like, have you actually seen a princess film in the past decade? If so, you would know that every prince charming is, well, not charming at all – packed with character flaws that pretty much jeopardize the entire romance every waking second of the movie. Just to prove a point, I’ve named every Disney prince from the franchise along with his totally undateable trait(s).

Charming #1: Obviously okay with kissing a  woman in comatose.

Charming #2: Apparently blind. Like could he not tell it was Cinderella just by looking at her face? Maybe it’s from all those sunset rides…

Phillip: Total idiot.

Eric: Also apparently blind. Cannot identify Ariel without her voice.

Beast: Subject to fits of unwarranted rage. Maybe verbally abusive.

Aladdin: Liar, thief, liar, beggar, liar… did I say liar?

John Smith: Not good with dads.

Captain Shang: Risks China to avoid taking advice from a girl.

Naveen: Lusty, greedy, selfish, irresponsible, childish, all around worst prince award.

Flynn Rider: Thief. And I don’t mean the starving justifiable kind.

Kristoff: That thing with the reindeer? Maaaaaaajor baggage.

You see? If Disney princes were nonfictional men at your in your dorm or at the office, you probably wouldn’t give them a second look. Aladdin would be “that weird compulsive liar in my Arabic studies class.” Shang would be “that sexist douche bag one cubicle over.” Don’t get even get me started on Flynn. So if Prince Charming is really so uncharming, why do women keep passing up perfectly good dates waiting on him? Why would anyone want to be swept off their feet at all if Charming the Blind is just going to drop them on their face? Is it hopeless? ARE YOU DOOMED TO THE HAIRY FATE OF A SPINSTER CAT LADY?

It seems like a lot of women – Disney fanatics, especially – pride themselves on unattainable relationship goals and the eternal pursuit of a flawless man. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t shoot high, but I am saying that many a prince began as a frog. It’s so acceptable for women to compare their significant others to Disney princes, but what if the situation were reversed? Do you have the virtue of Snow White? Jasmine’s (probably dangerous) waistline? What about the poise of Aurora or Rapunzel’s wicked domestic skill set? I certainly don’t, nor do I exactly want to. Because those things aren’t love.

Even though no Disney relationship is smooth from start to finish, true love does exist. But contrary to popular belief, it isn’t seamless. I mean, did you see those flaws?! Take another read. I’ll wait. Our beloved heroines must have a lot of grit to put up with those shenanigan for a full 120-minute movie – let alone for life! Turns out, finding Prince Charming isn’t about high standards, impossible expectations or the perfect smoulder. It’s not even about love at first sight! Shocking, right? (Don’t tell Snow). Love is about finding someone who completes your story – no matter the time, no matter the cost. So how do you find that one special person, you ask? Well, it starts with one very easy step.

Give him a chance.

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9 thoughts on “About Prince Charming…He Isn’t Coming

  1. Love it. I never thought of Disney relationships in this way… I just got swept away by the anti-Disney-relationship movement. Thanks for making me look at them again with new, more realistic, eyes 🙂

  2. The conceit of the Cinderella myth is that a woman of lower socio-economic status can be an ideal match for a man with unmatched high socio-economic status (will someday be the king), because she is ‘fair of face and figure.’

    There is a reason why the wealthy marry the wealthy. The rest of us get each other. (Which is fine with me.)

    But dreams are free, I suppose.

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