5 Really Good (And Not Even Lame) Reasons You Should Read Renegade

If Buzzfeed and Thought Catalog have taught me anything, it’s that people love lists. I mean, they love lists. So, in honor of the release of my very first novel, here is a very fabulous list with five crazy compelling reasons you should read Renegade by L. A. Wilcox (a.k.a me). Enjoy, my fine friends.

1. The story takes place in 1770, just before the American Revolution – and ‘Merica.

Can we just take a minute to talk about how bad-a the American Revolution was? I’m sure my fellow God-fearing, eagle-loving Americans will agree – but in case you do not bleed red, white and blue, please watch the following trailer of The Patriot and join the party.

Wicked sweet, right? Good. Moving on.

2. There’s romance. Duh.

Seriously, when was the last time you read any good book and thought to yourself, Man, I’m so glad that novel was zero percent romance. NEVER. Let my fictional romance fill the lonely void in your life today.

Exactly, Mindy. Exactly.

3. I wrote it.

I’m not trying to say you should read Renegade just because I wrote it. I’m trying to say that you should read Renegade mostly because I wrote it. I realize that this may be a difficult concept for you selfless readers out there, so I decided to include this handy flowchart for your convenience.

Public disclaimer: I am not, in fact, a narcissist. This is me trying to be funny. Did it work? No? Okay…

4. Renegade revolves around a time traveler, and 9 out of 10 professionals agree that time travelers are the best kind of people.

Okay, maybe they’re the best kind of people because they aren’t exactly real people. Minor semantics, people! This is a time traveler story like none other, because it hinges upon the idea of personal talisman for intra-era transportation. Trust me. Dr. Who’s got nothing on Andrew Simmons.

5. Renegade is cheap. Like, 90s CDs at Hastings cheap.

$3.99 – that’s it. And don’t lie. You know you spent more on a Starbucks frap this very afternoon. I’m in college, so I get being broke as a joke. And like Honey Boo Boo, a dolla’ does in fact make me holla’, which is why Renegade won’t break your bank.

Anyway, moving on. You know you’ve stumbled across a real steal here, because Internet lists never lie. Duh. To grab your copy of Renegade, head over to Amazon! Not a Kindle fan? Renegade will also be available on Nook very soon, or you can always grab a paperback copy here. If you’re still unconvinced, follow these parting instructions:

1. Read items 1-5.

2. Repeat until convinced.

P.S. If you are a blogger and are interested in doing a review of Renegade, shoot me a comment below!

P.P.S. For information about the sequel – that’s right, I said SEQUEL – like Renegade on Facebook and join the conversation on Twitter using #ReadRenegade!

P.P.P.S. I’m done now.

The 6 Stages of Final Exams As Told by Harry Potter

1. Denial

Finals? Hahahahaha! Please. I’ve still got an entire week left. Do you have any idea what I can accomplish in that short amount of time? Seriously, there’s nothing to worry about. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna’ go paint my nails like little zebras.

2. Anger

Okay, it’s not like I’m mad about finals or anything, but seriously? A comprehensive test? How unfair is that?! And it’s worth, like, 96 percent of my grade. I’m too mad to study. School is so stupid. No, everything is stupid. LET’S START A REVOLUTION!

3. Procrastination

I’m just gonna’ go over to Tiffany’s for a quick study session. I always do my best work in groups. Oh, and Jennifer, Michael and Josh will be there too, but we’re definitely gonna’ get stuff done. Definitely…

4. Cramming

Okayokayokay. Two hours left until the test. I have four Redbulls in the fridge, and I. can. do. this. No need to panic. No need to panic. NO NEED TO PANIC.

5. Apathy

You know what? I don’t even care. 200 question multiple choice? Come at me, bro.

6. Recovery

Student down, STUDENT DOWN! The road to post-final recovery may be long and troublesome, but that’s why God invented Netflix and Nutella.

P.S. Enjoy this post? See what else you’re bound to love here!

Wake: A Book Review

To kick off a (hopefully) book-filled summer, I began with a novel that’s been making a splash in the publishing world. Amanda Hocking, a recently-emerged self-published author, sold over one million copies of her Watersong trilogy, all on e-reader.

That’s right. These books aren’t even available in print, but that hasn’t stopped Hocking from making a mint. Hoping to someday publish an e-book of my own, I heard about her incredible pioneer efforts into the word of virtual literature and decided to see what all the fuss was about. If you’re looking to lose yourself inside of a new novel, check out my review and see if Wake is for you!

Wake by Amanda Hocking

Wake

Summary

Wake, the first book in the Watersong trilogy, revolves around a young high-schooler named Gemma who is absorbed in the world of competitive swimming. Gemma’s life consists mostly of typical teen angst until three strange, mysteriously beautiful newcomers appear in her quaint, oceanic town. For reasons unknown to Gemma, the three girls seem to pursue her attention despite her frequent rejections. She continues to deny them, much to the delight of her overprotective sister, until one fateful evening on a late-night swim, when a series of bizarre and mystical events are set into motion. Suddenly, as she begins to develop her own mythical powers, Gemma must choose between two very different worlds: the life she has always known and the life of a siren.

Review

Although the book is clearly intended for a younger, Twilight-adoring audience, it certainly packs a thrill for adults too. At times the plot can be very predictable, but just when you think you’re getting bored…BAM! Hocking throws a curve ball at you that prompts another thirty page binge. Much like Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, these unexpected bursts of surprise make the lulls worthwhile. Hocking does a magnificent job creating unique, relatable characters, especially in capturing Gemma’s mentally ill mother. I’m not going to give away the end, but…I would love to hear your thoughts on the final chapter. I’m still not 100% how I feel about it, but it didn’t defer my enjoyment of the novel as a whole.

You Would Like Wake If…

You enjoy fantasy, young adult novels, the supernatural genre, Greek mythology, and things of a whimsical nature.

Conclusion

Not an intellectually stimulating gem to discuss with your professors, but a perfect light read for traveling or curing summer boredom. You can find a copy for Nook here and for Kindle here.

If you’ve read Wake, tell me what you think of this review! I’m always up for a good literary discussion.

How to Write a Nicholas Sparks Novel

Couple

Want to be an instant billionaire? Of course you do. Who doesn’t? The solution is simple: write a Nicholas Sparks book!

“But I’m not an author!” you say.

That’s alright! By simply filling in the blanks using the template below, you will soon be a literary sensation and arch nemesis of reagular dude’s in relationships everywhere. What are you waiting for? Let’s get started!

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Once upon a time in (North/South) Carolina, there was a (misunderstood/quiet/angsty) man named (generic name) who enjoyed his independant, macho life by the sea. His only company was his (overly intelligent dog/kids/severely autistic father). One day, an unbelievably beautiful and (fiery/gentle/sporadic/wealthy) woman moved into town. She caught (generic name)‘s eye, and he began to pursue her despite the advice of the overly friendly, strangely tight-knit town. As expected, she turns him down. A lot. Not taking a hint, however, (generic name) pursues her further by giving her a (bike/collection of letters/rare book) that he most likely (made with his rough, calloused hands/wrote from his heart/bought just for her). Now that she feels indebted, she agrees to go (kayaking/canoeing/sailing) on a mystical (lake/swamp/river) that houses an unnatural number of white birds. Suddenly, a downpour begins out of the otherwise perfectly blue sky from earlier. The two run for shelter, but not before engaging in a steamy (intense stare/kiss/plate of whoopie). Afterwards, she realizes she acted impulsively, being swooned by the white birds, and is filled with regret. She leaves (generic name) just when crisis strikes in the form of (an abuse ex-lover/alzheimers/fire/cancer/a raging storm at sea/amnesia). Despite the odds, they survive the incident together, and realize how deep their feelings for one another run. They tell everyone of their newfound love just in time for her to die of (cancer/alzheimers/a miscarriage/a freak accident). The end.

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After you finish filling in the mad lib, simply type up the completed version in Word, add a few thousand filler words, and bam! Universal Studios just bought your book for $3 million. Congratulations! How can you repay me for my help, you ask? Oh, just following my blog is more than enough. I promise. Although royalties would be nice, too…how about 30/70? 70 me, that is. Great! I’ll be looking for that check in the mail. Thanks in advance!