1. Pogs
2. Puppy Surprise
3. Gooey Louie
4. Tinkertoys
5. Moon Shoes
6. View Master
7. Perler Beads
8. Doodle Bear
9. Don’t Wake Daddy
10. Pin Art
11. Britney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time” Doll
12. Hoberman Sphere
13. Water Wiggler
14. Blow Pens
15. Socker Boppers
16. Betty Spaghetty
17. Crocodile Dentist
18. Koosh Ball
19. Critter Keychain Kit
20. Magna Doodle
21. Mouse Trap
So, how many did you have?
I hereby call to order on this day, the fourth of June, the Council of Nineties Kids for the trial proceedings of a Mr. Douglas Funnie of Bluffington. Recently, I came across an article by the Huffington Post titled “Was ‘Doug’ and Its Central Character Doug Funnie Racist?” and couldn’t help but ponder the curious dilemma presented in the article. In a land full of green, purple, blue, and hot pink citizens, is it mere coincidence that the title character, his family, and love interest are the only white characters in the show? Below, I make cases both for and against this accusation in hopes that you, the jury, will have adequate evidence to pass a verdict.
Pro:
As the article correctly stated, Bluffington High School is a 100-count box of crayons, and Doug manages to seek out the only other member of the beige family for his long-term love interest. Blogger Wolf Gnards, in a 2009 post that sparked much of the Doug Funnie controversary, states that this discrimination serves as a subliminal racist gesture that only white characters deserve to be in the spotlight. Additionally, in the show’s eight-year history, Patti Mayonnaise never pursues romantic relations with any of Bluffington’s colorful crew.
Con:
Although Doug and his love interest may be the closest in hue, Patti Mayonnaise is clearly darker complected and could represent a different ethnicity altogether. Additionally, Doug Funnie’s mother (a title character) sports a pinkish hue with blue colored hair, like many of the other townspeople. Exectuive producer Doug Campbell defends the accusations by stating that the show’s key demographic was caucasian children, and like any other television show, production centered around a marketing component. He claims that creators attempted to dodge the issue of race altogether by creating a unique host of rainbow-tinted characters in addition to the Funnie family
Now that the evidence has been presented, it’s time to pass a verdict. Doug Funnie: average kid or racist symbol? Leave your thoughts in the comments below, and be sure to follow my blog for updates on this pressing case!
It’s time to face the facts. There are a lot of 90’s kid imposters out there, but I’m not saying any names. *cough* The 1995-1999 batch. Being a 90’s kid is not simply about the year you were born. No, it is so much more. It is a culture, a lifestyle, a shared history. You could even call it a cult following.
So how do you know? How do you weed out the authentic 90’s kids from the millenium babies? Fortunately, there are a few tell-tale signs.
You might be a 90’s kid if…
You consider Skip It a cardio workout.
You were dealing cards in the second grade. Pokecards, that is.
You’ve ever taken a red shell for your best friend.
Goldeneye N64 was your first shooter.
You’re still afraid of the dark.
Your Polly Pocket doll actually fit in your pocket.
Getting slimed was ever on your bucket list.
You’re still waiting to strike it rich with your Beanie Babies collection.
Your first brush with death was when you killed your digipet.
You ever tried to go Super Saiyan.
You dreamed of riding your Lisa Frank unicorn off into the sunset.
You still have a healthy fear of Furbys.
You’ve ever taken your lucky rabbit’s foot to school on a test day.
You still have scars from ironing perler beads and had no idea they were called perler beads.
Think I missed any crucial criteria? Feel free to add your own 90’s kid credentials in the comments below. Also, be sure to follow my blog for regular updates on new posts!
As Told by Laura 