Over the past twenty-some years, I’ve learned a lot about life from Disney. I mean, A LOT. Always wish upon a star, be a diamond in the rough, never tangle with a sea witch. But as you know, the movies aren’t always all they’re cracked up to be. Here are a just few Disney expectations that didn’t quite pass the test of reality.
1. Diving
Swim class? What the heck, Mom? I don’t need swimming and diving lessons in the fifth grade. Please. I learned everything I need to know about free-falling poise from Pocahontas.
Expectation
Reality
2. Sewing
Ugh. I have NOTHING to wear. You know what? I’m going to start making all of my own clothes. That’s right – all of them. I’ve seen Cinderella like a hundred times. Seriously, how hard could it be?
Expectation
Reality
3. Swimming
Ahhh-ahhh-ahhh, ahhh-ahhh-ahhh! Oh, hello there! Don’t mind me. I’m just gracefully flipping underwater in my swirly-twirly way whilst singing to the invisible marine life in my 3-foot swimming pool.
Expectation
Reality
4. Pirates
I’d walk your plank, Jack Sparrow.
Expectation
Reality
5. Wild Animals
Of course I want a pet raccoon. They have a mild temperament, wicked braiding skills and unparalleled affection – like snuggley feral kittens.
Expectation
Reality
6. Stranger Danger
Dance with you entirely alone in a dark secluded alleyway? I thought you’d never ask!
Expectation
Reality
7. Flying
Faith ✓ – Trust ✓ – Pixie Dust ✓
Houston, we’re ready for takeoff.
Expectation
Reality
So, what false expectations has Disney given you?
As Told by Laura 