DIY Olenna Tyrell Costume for Under $20

 

Yesterday, my best friend co-hosted a Game of Thrones season finale watch party, which frankly is everything you need to know about my friends. In addition to a life-size Iron Throne made of aluminum foil and a wall of remembrance for the deceased, there was HoDoritos, direwolf (puppy) chow, deviled dragon eggs, and iced Cer-tea.  Seriously, I have no Ygrittes. (See what I did there? Don’t worry. The puns only get worse…)

Lady Tyrell has long been my favorite character on the show. She’s sharp-tongued, fiercely loyal, and admirably apathetic to the plight of her enemies. Plus, she wears a wicked cool hat. When I heard the party was “costume optional” (whatever that means), I searched Varys sites for an easy costume DIY to no avail – meaning, I had to get a little crafty.

The costume is essentially two pieces: the body (skirt + blazer) and Olenna’s signature Maid Marian-esque hat. With a quick run to Hobby Lobby and Goodwill, I was able to whip up a no-fuss costume in under an hour for less than $20. Even if you know nothing (John Snow) about sewing, you’ll breeze through this project. No cutting, no sewing, no stress. With Halloween just around the corner and the season 8 premiere a short 18 months away (LOLOL), I thought I’d share my Lady Tyrell costume tutorial with you today.

So what Arya waiting for? Let’s get started!

What You’ll Need:

• 1 yard of black chiffon
• 1/2 yard of black spandex
• 1 tube black acrylic paint
• 1 circular Kraft box (small enough to sit on top of your head)
• Scrapbook rhinestones
• Hot glue gun
• Medium-size sponge brush
• Black, patterned blazer (I got mine at Goodwill for $3.99)
• Floor-length chiffon or silk skirt (also Goodwill, $1.99)

Instructions:

1. Using the sponge brush, paint the Kraft box black using two coats of the acrylic paint. Note: You do not need to paint the lid, which can be discarded.

2. Once the box is dry, fold the yard of chiffon in half vertically (as if folding a blanket) to find the center. Place a small drop of hot glue on the inner wall of your box, and lightly stick the fabric in place.

3. Using a thin line of hot glue, adhere the fabric to the inside of the box until half of the circle is covered.

4. Stick the already-adhesive embellishment to the front of the hat, using hot glue if necessary to secure the hold.

5. Wrap the black spandex fabric around your face to cover your hair, using two hair pins to secure the wrap in place near the top of your face. Don’t worry about pinning the fabric together – the jacket will hold it in place! Wrap the excess fabric across your neck as you would a scarf, so the uncut ends hang down the back of your shoulders. (Sorry, I forgot to grab a photo of this step, but hopefully it’s pretty intuitive.)

6. For bonus point, give yourself some light wrinkles with a skin-colored eyeshadow. Trust me, you’ll look like a smoking hot Mandy Moore in This is Us.

7. Party like it’s 300 AL.

Once you finish your Lady Tyrell costume, drop a photo in the comments below. I’d love to see your finished work! If you have any questions or hiccups along the way, I’m always here to help. Until then, dothras chek (be cool).

 

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Nail Polish Horoscope

Think you nail polish has nothing to do with the outcome of your day?

Think again.

1. Ruby Red

Simple and timeless. This is the Jennifer Aniston of finger nails, meaning you can literally do no wrong. Like Rachel Green, your charm and beauty will carry you far this week – but beware! Your shallow vanity will blind you today and cause you to miss your lobster. Forever. Sucks to suck.

2. Full French

Whoa, Kate Middleton – cool your jets! We know you’re basically the pinnacle of high class, but this isn’t the high school prom. A flawless combination of power and poise, you take what you want like the honey badger. But honey badger don’t care, and your apathy is going to get the best of you today. Do you care? Nope. You’ve got plenty of cobra to last all week.

3. Colored French Tip

You are everything the honey badger French tip is not – like Kate Middleton’s booty-short wearing, loud-mouthed little sister. Somehow, men will find your wild side confusing yet compelling, so be sure to shave your legs in the morning. After exchanging cross words with a loved one today, you will impulsively pay for a barbed wired tattoo. The crazy part? You won’t even regret it.

4. Odd Man Out

Welcome, Millenials! How was that Cosmo guide to nail couture? Good? Good. Today you’re going to totally LOL at your BFFs snapchat right before skipping your digital marketing class. You’re also going to blow your last $4 on one tiny little bottle of polish to use exclusively on your ring finger. Enjoy your chicken-flavored Ramen. YOLO.

5. Texturized

Glitter, fuzzy, magnetized…no texture is off limits. If you’re not nine years old, then you’re probably going through a “phase” – somewhere between bangs and colored eyeliner. Odds are, you’ll be dying a small strip of hair to a Mandy Moore soundtrack this evening, so get the bleach ready. There’s a fine line between playful and pitiful – let someone else worry about finding it.

6. Back to Black

Your nails are as dark as your soul, and today, not a care will be given. You will ask yourself, what would King Jeoffrey do? And then you will do it. There’s a good chance you’re going to make out with a total stranger mid-afternoon, so be sure to toss some Lifesavers in your Steve Madden studded satchel. Oh, and please call your mom. She’s worried about you.

7. Pinteresting

Ambitious is a good word for you. Although it took you two and half hours to paint all the Winnie the Pooh characters on each nubby little nail, you didn’t give up. No, sir. Sure, Pooh actually looks like his namesake – the mustard-stained contents of an infant’s diaper. But you’ll bounce back. Also, looks like you’ll be creating a DIY boho chandelier from old T-shirts this afternoon. Good luck.

8. Naked

Yesterday you peeled off every last bit of shellac because you’re sassy and cannot be tamed. In an effort to hide those Freddy Kreuger claws, you thought you’d just casually slap six layers of nude on your flaky digs. Nice try. Your piss-poor nails will cause you to get into a fight with your significant other today because – again – sassy and can’t be tamed.

9. Diamond in the Rough

You want a Lamborghini. Sip martinis. Look hot in a bikini. Yeah…unfortunately you’re not Britney Spears. Sorry ’bout that. If you’ve got more than one rhinestone per nail, you best drive yourself back to XPress Nails and cozy up with a bottle of acetone.  Watch out! If you don’t, your coworker will go blind today – probably because your nails are brighter than Rhianna’s “Diamonds”.

10. Metallic

You’ve never seen a diamond in the flesh, and you have no idea what it means to cut your teeth on wedding rings in the movie. But – oh – you know you want to. Started at the bottom now we (still) here. That bad-a attitude will take you places, so listen to Journey and don’t stop believing. Like Gwen Stefani, you too will be a rich girl. Soon.

For more poorly-based predictions, check out the follow underwear horoscope by Jenna Marbles.

The Stages of Job Hunting, As Told by Game of Thrones

1.  Stupid Ambition

Job hunting? Please – I’ve got this one, guys. My strategy? I’m going to apply ONLY for insanely prestigious positions that are totally out of my league – like the White House. Yes, I’m applying to the entire White House. Go big or go home, right? I’ll just throw together a quick resume tonight. ‘Aint no thang.

 2. Denial

 

So what I didn’t get that resume written? There’s still ten weeks until graduation anyways. That’s basically forever in college years. Busy, I’m too busy enjoying my last days of freedom – a.k.a. being a worthless tub of lard. I’ll start working on that cover letter right after this season -I mean, episode – of Game of Thrones.

3.  Mild Anxiety

Boy, the weeks are really flying by, huh? It’s fine. No really, it’s fine. I wrote my resume, sent it out to a few places. It’s only a matter of time now until I get a call back. Everything will be fine! Really…

4. Waiting

It’s been four weeks. WHY HASN’T WENDY’S CALLED ME BACK?!

5. Despair

 My mother was right. I should have joined the debate team. Do you think I could add professional reviewer to my resume? I did give New Girl five stars on Netflix, after all. No? That doesn’t count? Then leave me to drown in my Ramen noodles – oh, parting is such sweet sorrow.

6. Redemption

You have done it, my friend. Oh, how victorious a day! For you, corporate warrior, have conquered the dreaded phone interview. YOU ARE NOW EMPLOYED! Go. Take your rightful place upon the throne. For you, dear friend, are now a ruler. A ruler of interns.