Let’s be honest, here. The newness of school has worn away, and now it just sucks. Like, it really sucks. Homework, annoying professors, the class Hermione Granger, you get the picture. Luckily for you and me, there’s ways to make school just a little more bearable. I know, it’s almost too good to be true. Almost. Made-up statistics show that with the tips below, you’re forty-four times less likely to kill yourself at the end of the school day. That’s pretty substantial. So check out my suggestions, put down the Adderall and get in touch with your inner child along the way.
1. Pack your lunch.
I don’t mean a Campbell’s soup-at-hand. I mean the kind of lunch Mom used to make. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, grapes, and Disney princess/Batman gummy snacks. Aw, yeah. You know what I’m taking about. For bonus points, go out and score one of those sweet metal lunch boxes.
2. Invest in some gel pens.
Gels pens are the doodler’s palette. Nothing makes that crude drawing of your least favorite professor pop like a little splash of milky color. Gel pens are perfect for: writing notes, drawing on your arm, drawing on your neighbor’s arm and altogether ignoring lectures. To get yours, just click the picture.
3. Laugh at inappropriate things.
It’s okay to laugh when the answer is 69. It’s also okay to laugh every time your women and gender studies professor says, “sex.” Yes, it’s immature. Yes, your professor will probably hate you. But if you can’t laugh at “gluteus maximus” during anatomy, is life really worth the living?
4. Ride your bike to class.
When was the last time you rode you bike? I mean, really rode your bike. Feet flying, hair whipping, hands stretching to the sky. Sure, you might look like an idiot, but you’ll still look better than that size 0 girl “rocking” her extra-large T-shirt over some possibly-non-existent Nike shorts. We all know one.
P.S. WalMart, please don’t sue me for using your picture.
5. Bring your Gameboy to school.
No PS3 or NintenDS. I’m talking old-school Super Mario Bros., Warioland, Tetris, Kirby and Pokemon. Whether it’s in between classes, over lunch or on your daily bus ride, you whip out that Gameboy Advance with pride. It’s not like you were going to use that time to study anyways. Please. Bonus points for game-play during lecture.
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If you have your own tried-and-true tricks for getting through the school day, feel free to drop a line or two in the comments below. Remember, forty-four percent. Don’t let someone die because you were too cool to share.