You step into Vintage Stock, the smell of awesome flooding your senses. Cue Thrift Shop. You only got 20 dollars in your pocket, and rows upon rows of dusty old video games are begging to be bought like puppies in a Wal-Mart parking lot. You’re itching to reach for that $26 copy of Dr. Mario N64, but you want to get the most for your money. The answer is simple: B-list games.
B-list games are no different than B-list movies: they’re cheap, short, and not exactly basking in fame. Does that make them any less awesome? “No!” cried a random Netflix-lover from his mother’s basement. One of the trickiest parts about B-list games is distinguishing fun from flops. So before you blow that grocery money from your mom on Pyramid for NES, take a step back. I, your gaming fairy godmother, am here to help with my magical list of buck-worthy, old-school Nintendo B-list games.
Paperboy, 1984 – Atari
The objective is simple. Complete all 7 levels by delivering papers to subscribers’ houses while dodging dogs, skateboard punks, and random tornadoes. Easy enough, right? Wrong. It’s about as stressful as babysitting triplets. On the plus side, you get to jam to a kickin 8-note soundtrack.
Q*Bert 3, 1992 – Gottlieb
Although Q*Bert might be a classic, Q*Bert 3 certainly isn’t. Game play resembles the original in that Q*Bert must change the color of all the tiles by jumping on them while avoiding terrifying enemies like purple snakes and bouncy frogs.
Chameleon Twist, 1997 – Japan System Supply
The goal is to beat the boss at the end of one of six obnoxiously long levels by sucking in villains and shooting them out like spit wads. Of course, this will rely on your practically infinite Yoshi-tongue. If you like the game, you’re in luck. There’s an even better sequel.
Mary-Kate and Ashley: Girls Night Out, 2002 -Powerhead Games
Judge me if you will, but once you get past the leather pumps and sugary beats this boils down to an addictive Dance Dance Revolution for your thumbs. Trust me guys, if the premise was disguised in martial arts or something masculine, you’d love it. It’s catchy. It’s challenging. It’s Girls Night Out.
There you have it. My go-to list of B-list games. Have something to add? Feel free to throw your own favorites into the comments below, and be sure to follow my blog for more nostalgic Nintendo to come!