If You Give a Disney Princess a Cell Phone…

If you give a Disney princess a cell phone, she’s going to buy a cute cover. ASAP. I’m thinking precious his and hers matching cases. Adorable, right?

Now, if you give a princess a cell phone and she buys a cute cover, she’ll start texting all of her friends (well, those with opposable thumbs at least). Say goodbye to royal balls, saving China, growing legs and taming beasts – it’s text time. BRB.

If you give a princess a cell phone, she’ll buy a cute cover , start texting all her friends and jump on the Facebook bandwagon. Eventually she’s going to grow tired of texting the same old royals all the time, hearing the same old tales as old as time. She’s ready to branch out, make some new friends! Hello Facebook app…

Facebook

And Twitter…

And Instagram.

If you give a princess a cell phone, she’ll buy a cute cover, start texting all her friends, get hooked on social media and stumble upon her own Internet meme. Eventually, when there’s nothing to refresh on her Twitter feed, she’ll get sucked into the vortex known as Reddit and Imgur. She’ll spend all day LMFAOing at Disney princess hipster memes because who doesn’t enjoy their own meme?

That definitely includes the Disney Princess Musical, btw.

If you give a princess a cell phone, she’ll buy a cute cover, start texting all her friends, get hooked on social media, spend all day laughing at memes and take a few selfies. C’mon. Who doesn’t love a good selfie or two? Look out, Selfie Olympics! There’s a new queen in town, and she’s already got the gold.

If you give a princess a cell phone, she’ll buy a cute cover, start texting all her friends, get hooked on social media, spend all day laughing at memes, take a few selfies and inevitably tick off a few friends. I’m talking real drama, people. Like, Housewives of Beverly Hills drama.

If you give a princess a cell phone, she’ll buy a cute cover, start texting all her friends, get hooked on social media, spend all day laughing at memes, take a few selfies, tick off a few friends and start a full-fledged war. Of course, she’s still a princess, so this is a really great opportunity to show off her bad-a kung fu wardrobes. Oh, and her fighting skills too (said only Mulan).

Fighter

If you give a princess a cell phone, she’ll buy a cute cover, start texting all her friends, get hooked on social media, spend all day laughing at memes, take a few selfies, tick off a few friend, start a full-fledged war and die. All of them, dead. A troubling thought, I know. It’s okay, though! As princesses, they’re still fabulous post-mortem. This is a great opportunity to start  a punk rock band.

goth

If you give a princess a cell phone, she’ll buy a cute cover, start texting all her friends, get hooked on social media, spend all day laughing at memes, take a few selfies, tick off a few friend, start a full-fledged war, die and start a punk rock band. Wait. Can you imagine how terrible a Disney princess punk rock band would sound? Seriously, just no. The world has enough troubles already, so do us all a favor, won’t you?

Don’t give a Disney princess a cellphone.

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Why My Cat is Basically Rapunzel

1. He has the golden locks of a god.

Fur

Take a minute and lose yourself inside those sweet, thick locks of angel baby fur. Go ahead, I’ll wait. It’s actually rumored that his marvelous mane hails straight from the head of the mighty Zeus himself. Like Rapunzel, those golden curls are his crowning glory. Oh, and in case you were wondering, he’s a natural blonde.

2. He is the long lost heir to a long line of royalty.

King

Okay, I made this one up. But doesn’t he just look so stately? More regal than Julie Andrews, I’d say.

3. He’s not allowed outside.

Apparently there are indoor and outdoor cats, and the two cannot be mixed. I think it has to do with vaccines or something, but I’m no cat whisperer. Every morning, as I wiggle myself out of thinly cracked door into the glorious sunlight, Oliver is forced to stare in torturous wonder from his sofa-top perch at the world beyond. Basically, I’m his evil Mother Gothel. Hooray.

4. Those impossibly large, heart-warming eyes.

Eyes

Okay. Rapunzel’s are green while Oliver’s are blue, but would you look at those eyes?! It probably takes like 20 calories just to blink. There will be none of those witchy, devil-diamond cat eyes in this house. No, sir. In fact, if you stare into his pupils, you can spot little baby unicorns, prancing on rainbows eating clouds of cotton candy. Those magical eyes could even take down even the toughtest ogre.

Without boots.

5. He can charm even the toughest heart.

Really, the video says it best.

To Finding New Dreams

After losing my aunt to pulmonary fibrosis this week, I spent a great deal of time sifting through old photo albums as Polaroid told her sepia-toned life. Although she had been ill all of her life, nothing stopped her: she faced each day with a “live-like-you-were-dying attitude” because, in fact, she was.

 Now, I’m not certain if she ever had a physical bucket list written out, but if she did, there was undoubtedly no item left unmarked. Her marvelously saturated photo albums left me contemplating a few things, namely bucket lists, life, and dreaming.

 For many years, I was afraid of a bucket list. I know how absurd that must sound, but it’s true. The finality of it all, of writing down the things you most hope to accomplish in life, intimidated me far more than it should. Although I had a mental bucket list for years and was fortunate enough to see many items scratched off, it always left me with the bitter, cold taste of inevitable disappointment on my tongue. Now matter how I gnawed on the idea of a list, one question always stopped me:

 What happens when the last item is marked off?

 This question haunted me for years, keeping me from ever etching my aspirations in ink for fear of running furiously into a dead-end street. As odd as it may sound, I found my answer in a Disney film. “Of course,” you say, rolling your eyes. “With you, the answer is always Disney.” Perhaps, but this time is different.

 In my favorite scene of Tangled, on the threshold of watching her greatest dream fade into reality, Rapunzel turns to Flynn with a skeptical look.

Tangled

Rapunzel: I’ve been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be?

Flynn Rider: It will be.

Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?

Flynn Rider: Well, that’s the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.

 Lights

Of course, it was everything she dreamed it would be and also my answer. Only a few short days after seeing Tangled for the first time, I decided to write out my first bucket list: 25 items that a 19-year-old Laura would like to see for herself.

 Bucket List

It’s remarkable the things I’ve seen since then: meeting the Backstreet Boys, traveling to another country, and learning a new language, just to name a few. But just as Flynn said, with each accomplished dream comes a new one, and that is why for each item completed from the list, a new one takes it place. And of course, as a reminder of this mantra, my bucket list is buried inside of a custom-made Disney journal that a friend made me from her Etsy site.

Journal

 So, if you’ve never written a bucket list, I encourage you to. You will no doubt be surprised by the marvelous things you are capable of, even in just a few short years. If, like me, you wrestle in vain with the suffocating fears of post-dreaming, the “now what?” at the end of the road, I pray you remember the greatest part of all: finding a new dream. So here’s to us and bucket lists! May we always remember the dreams we dreamed.