With just 7 days until Valentine’s Day, it’s time to start the preparations. Dust off your Nicholas Sparks collection and buy yourself a box (or two) of Russel Stovers. More importantly, it’s time to sift through your iTunes library in search of those sappy songs that melt your heart and trigger your gag reflex.
They’re the songs you love to hate, cheesy enough to make fondue. Whether you’ll be crying into a bottle of wine or getting down with your inner Barry White, nothing sets the mood like a Valentine’s playlist from those who know estrogen-targeted romance best: boy bands. As an early Valentine’s gift from me to you, here’s a playlist of the best worst boy band love songs. If you think the songs are bad, just wait until you see the music videos. Click the pictures to see for yourself.
Note: This program contains toxic amount of sappy romanticism, which can lead to vomiting. Viewer discretion is advised.
Title: I Swear
Title: I Do
Artist: 98 Degrees
Title: Little Things
Artist: One Direction
Artist: Brian McKnight
Title: God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You
Title: Make Love to You
Artist: Boyz II Men
Title: I Knew I Loved You
Artist: Savage Garden
I realize many of these are 90s boys bands, but what can I say? The boys of the 90s know what’s up. Men, come a little closer. We’re about to have a heart-to-heart. No matter what they tell you, all women love boy bands. It’s coded onto that second X chromosome. If you’re feeling romantic, why not serenade that special someone with a little boy band bliss? Oh, you sing like William Hung? In that case, stick with a mixed tape. It’s sweet; it’s sexy; it says “I love you like a love song,” and what’s better than that?
No matter what you have planned for the big day, make sure to leave a little one-on-one time with the boys of N*Sync, One Direction, and Savage Garden. Remember, they loved you before they even met you. That, friends, is what Valentine’s Day is all about.